Thursday, February 5, 2009


Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )

Ans - . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)

Q3. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsibut goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? :-)
Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener

Q5. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!

Q6. What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??Socho...............
Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).

Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?
Ans:- adidas

Q8. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv fallsinto the well. Why ?
Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!
Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?
OK lot's of head scratching done.
Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!Want one more...

Q9. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. nahi pata..??
Ans:- D'Cold chain ki saans !!!!!!

Q10. Whats the common colour between Lord Ram & Krishna?
Ans:- Green (Hare Rama Hare Krishna both has Hare)

Q11:- Sardar was cleaning the wall using an ear bud... Why?
Ans:- Diwaro ko bhi kaan hote hai....

Q12:- Vimal & Bimal waiting for bus at bus stop. When bus comes Vimal gets in but Bimal don't.. Why?
Ans:- Behind the bus there was an advertise banner "Only Vimal"

Q13:- Whats opposite of Jogeshwari?
Ans:- Jogesh Don't Worry...

Do you know of a Sardar who parked his car infront of board which said FINE FOR PARKING
A drunk was hauled into court.Mister, the judge began, you've been broughthere for drinking..
Great, the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?
Can you do anything that other people can't?
Sure, I can read my handwriting..
When a wife was asked: What book do you like the best?
She answers: My husband's cheque book..
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
My father is so old that when he was in school, historywas called current affairs.
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkeyand stopped him, what virtue would I be Showing?
Student: Brotherly love.
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help. JobApplicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person inthis case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same asyour brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible toteach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
Should women have children after 35
No, 35 children are more than enough!
No one has ever complained of a parachute notopening..
Living on Earth may be expensive, but itincludes an annual free trip around the Sun..
funny questions & answersQuestion : You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anythingelse with you in the boat? How will you do it?
Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat willbecome LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the otherCigarette
another deadly answer. Scroll down a little.....

Anoth! er solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches winMatches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette

If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down.......

Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)
"TIP TIP barsa Pani.
Pani ne aag lagayee."
us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".......

If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down

Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalneylagega"
Tax structure in India..
1) Qus. : What are you doing? Ans. : Business.Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?Ans. : Selling the Goods.Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!
3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?Ans. : From other State/AbroadTax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!
4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?Ans. : Profit.Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!
5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?Ans : By way of dividendTax : Pay dividend distribution Tax
6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?Ans. : Factory.Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!
7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?Ans. : YesTax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!
8) Qus. : Do you have Staff?Ans. : YesTax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!
9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?Ans. : YesTax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!Ans : NoTax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax
10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?Ans. : Yes, for Salary.Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!
11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?Ans. : HotelTax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?Ans. : YesTax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!
13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?Ans. : YesTax : PAY SERVICE TAX!
14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?Ans. : Gift on birthday.Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!
15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?Ans. : YesTax : PAY WEALTH TAX!
16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?Ans. : Cinema or Resort.Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?Ans. : YesTax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !
18) Qus.: How you Travel?Ans. : BusTax : PAY SURCHARGE!
20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?Ans. : YesTax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!
21) INDIAN :: okay, okay !! can i die now??Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!

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